My A+ Day

All I really need to know... I learned in kindergarten.

~ Robert Fulghum 

I've officially marked Feb. 21, 2011 as an "A+" day in my record book.


I spent most of the morning worrying. And it all boiled down to this: Last year, about this time, B and I started talking about how we would really like to be all moved into an apartment before the wedding, so that when we came home from our honeymoon we could settle in, unwrap gifts, and enjoy married life. I nagged specifically asked that he be sure to talk with his current apartment complex before signing another lease. "It'd be great if you could sign a lease that was up by June, at the latest," I said, thinking of our June 11th wedding date.


A few weeks later, we had a conversation that went a little something like this:


B: "So, I signed my new lease!"
Me: "Okay, great, so what'd they say?"
B: "Um, that I could sign my lease."
Me: "But weren't you going to ask them something?"
B: "If I could sign my lease?"
Me: "About signing a shorter one?"
B: "Oh. Well, it's up in July."
Me: (pause) "Oh, okay."


For the past year, I tried to view this conversation as another glimpse into married life. But I was absolutely dreading laying on the beach in Hawaii--okay, I was never dreading laying on the beach in Hawaii--and knowing that three days after getting back, we'd be moving. I hate moving. Blech.


Okay, so fast forward to about last weekend, when we'd found a great apartment, and my stress level about all the things that surround a wedding had been growing steadily. Although B still said it didn't stress him out to think about moving after the honeymoon (I don't believe him), we kept talking about how it really would be nice to move earlier in the spring.


However, there were two obstacles:
1) He is (obviously) still under his lease until July. And, after talking to some people, and looking up info online, most apartment complexes charge astronomical fees if you even hint towards moving out before the end of your contract. Although we hadn't spoken with his complex yet, I was expecting the worst.
2) Um, money. We knew that we could afford an apartment, especially by later in the spring/summer when I'm subbing more, tutoring more, nannying... but it just felt risky to make such a financial commitment.


Alright, so, you've probably forgotten by now that I hooked you into reading this post by promising a story of an "A+" day. I didn't lie, I promise. Here it comes...


At about 4:40pm on Monday, I got a call from the Superintendent of HR at a local school district, offering me an interview for a teaching position starting immediately. That's right, immediately! I was over-the-moon excited, and said yes, of course, I'd interview the next day!


At about 4:50pm on Monday, B heard back from his apartment complex, and without going into the nitty-gritty, we are free-and-clear when it comes to moving early!

WOOOOO-HOOOOO!!!!!!

Needless to say, I was all smiles.


It got even better, though, when I went to my interview the next day...


... and they offered me the job on the spot!


So, that's right, ladies and gentlemen, you are looking at (er, reading the writing of) a brand-new...


Kindergarten teacher!

Can You Hear Me Now?

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other.  Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.  

~Katharine Hepburn

Sometimes (okay, often) I wonder how it is possible that two people who are supposedly the same species can have such a tremendous communication discrepancy.

Allow me to share one of the first B and I had, near the beginning of our relationship:

B: "I'm having dinner with my parents tonight. You can come if you want."

Me: "Well, do you want me to come?"

B: "Yeah, if you want."

Let's take a poll. Do you think I went? No, of course not. I didn't want to be a bother, tagging along because I wanted to. But, low and behold, the next time I saw his family, they questioned me about why I hadn't come to dinner the previous weekend. B chimed in with, "Yeah, I invited you!"  

"Invited me?" I asked him later in private. "You told me 'I could come if I wanted to.'"

"I know," B replied, "I invited you."

I tried, in vain, to explain to him that "You can come if you want" implies something completely different than "Would you like to come to dinner with my parents?" or "You're invited to dinner with my parents tonight." But, alas, he simply could not understand why I didn't feel adequately summoned.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing on B. As a matter of fact, I have him very well trained he's become much better. Now, instead of saying he'll "stop by in a little bit," he says he'll "stop by around 5:30." Instead of "I could eat," it's "I'm not really hungry now, want to wait half an hour?"

I spent the first couple years of our relationship frustrated every time a communication lapse occurred. Now, I do my best to practice my Yoga breaths and remind him, calmly, that I believe I had mentioned it before, or that whatever he said was a bit confusing. Sometimes, though, my calm answers come out, "How the heck was I supposed to know that?!" or "What do you mean, you didn't do it??" 

But then I remember that I cherish my relationship too much to let something like this get in the way.

Bahahaha. I could hardly even type that without laughing. In truth, I view these instances as a glimpse into married life. As a wife/partner, it's my job to figure out how we can bridge this communication gap, learn from it, and still live happily ever after...

... any ideas?!?