Lost in the Great Unknown

You can call me a blog slacker.


I know, I've earned it.


I would offer some excuses--you know, about planning a wedding, moving, job searching, car buying--but I won't. I will, however, offer you a preview of what I've been lost in:

 Yes, it's as scary as it looks. This is life right now. Piles. Boxes. Unstable. Utter chaos.

But have no fear. I'm back, and I'm stronger than ever...

Ring-A-Ding-Ding

Check!

That's the sound of me checking another item off our to-do list. Have you noticed I've been doing a lot of that lately? Yeah. Go, me.

A couple of rainy Sundays ago, B and I decided it was time to venture back to the ring store. (The jewelry store, more specifically, for all of you Friends fans out there who might have been worried.) We knew with 100% certainty that we'd be giving Shane Co. our business once again. Besides their incredibly-enticing radio commercials, we were very impressed with the company back in Nov. 2009 when we were ring shopping for this baby:

Yes, B and I shopped together for an engagement band. Although the "when" "where" and "how" of the engagement were a surprise, we were both involved with the "who" "what" and "why".


When we first walked into Shane Co., we were immediately greeted by a salesperson who asked first what styles we had in mind, then our price point. At the time, I was interested in a halo style, but knew these could get pretty pricey pretty quickly. Our saleslady assured us that she could help us find a ring that we loved in any style we wanted at our price point. Wow! This was a huge difference from the mall jewelry stores we'd just finished visiting. (We'd walked into a common chain earlier that day, and practically had to chase somebody down to help us. She asked about our budget, flipped open a catalog, and pointed to the only ring she said was available at that point. We got out of there pretty fast, to say the least.)

I ended up not being as deeply in love with the halo style as I thought I'd be, so the sales associate showed us other options for the next couple of hours. Even though it was a busy Saturday afternoon, she was incredibly patient, answering all of our questions, and bringing out choice after choice after choice until I found THE ring.

The ring we chose (pictured above) fit our price point perfectly--and it even came with the wedding band (which is currently locked up in a safety deposit box, but it looks pretty similar to this one).


Another fabulous thing about Shane Co. is that they sell all of their diamonds loose. So, although I picked out the band, B went back later and picked out the center stone himself. In addition to that fabulousness is the fact that at Shane Co., you can always replace a stone with one that's even bigger and better--and all they'll charge you is the difference in price of the stone. So, someday when we're a filthy-rich environmentalist/teacher couple, we can go back and pick out a whopping 4 ct. stone, and we'll only have to pay a few bucks more. (Or, we could choose a more reasonable half-to-one carat stone to celebrate an anniversary, I suppose.)


Anyway, after a wonderful first impression, we knew Shane Co. would be getting our business once again...

This time, we went in knowing that we wanted an "alternative metal" for B. As a Haz Mat Man, a white gold or platinum ring would be sure to dent up quickly. (They're also really expensive!) Shane Co. carries two alternative metals: titanium and cobalt. With price tags around the $100 mark for titanium, it sounded like a pretty good deal at first. But then the sales associate explained that it, too, will dent easily, and there's not much they can do to polish out any damages. Cobalt, however, is quite durable. It prices a little higher (about $300), but it would be the best choice for someone who plays with paint cans and chemicals all day.

I love the style that B picked. We liked the wider band, and the cornered style gives the ring a more modern look. He wasn't so sure he'd like any rings at first--this is a guy who has never worn jewelry--but when he saw this one, he decided it might not be too bad :-)


Now both of our wedding bands are tucked safely away, waiting for the big day!

You're Invited! (Probably)

Sunday evening I put my fiancé, my parents, and my future mother-in-law to work in an assembly line. It was time to break out the box of invitations, response cards, and pre-addressed envelopes we'd ordered six months prior, and I knew it would be no small task.

(My mom never fails to have her "stoic and creepy" look in photos.)

Piles and lists, piles and lists

An enthusiastic... um, licker...

When I first started dreaming of invitations soon after our engagement, I assumed that we'd hire a calligrapher to address them in ink made of white gold (okay, not quite). However, as we began weaving all of the pieces of a wedding together, and budgeting (and re-budgeting) our money, invitations quickly soared to the bottom of our list--we decided we'd be doing those on the cheap.


Then, I began pricing vendors recommended to me by friends, from theknot.com, on Etsy, even materials to make our own from Paper Source, and realized that the $600 I had set aside was not even going to cover the invitations at any of these places, let alone the response cards, the envelopes, the stamps, etc.


Finally, I stumbled across 123print.com. Now, I will forewarn all of you (including those who will be receiving an invitation in their mailbox later this week), don't be expecting one of those fancy shmancy styles with ribbons and tissue paper, blah blah blah. But I was pleased with 123print for the following reasons:

1. Their huge selection of colors, styles, and themes. I'd had a heck-of-a-time finding a modern-looking, not-too-girly, summer-y, pink-and-orange choice at any of the other places I'd looked. But on this site I immediately found 3+ options that would mesh well with our wedding vibe. We finally ending up deciding on the Watch Love Grow style with coordinating response cards, rehearsal dinner invites, etc.
2. They let you design all the wording, the font, the placement of the text, etc. at no additional charge. So many of the other invitation vendors had disclaimers listed like "$0.50 per invitation for an extra line of text" or "limited monograms available" etc. But at 123print.com, you design the whole thing from your personal computer on their extremely user-friendly website.
3. The prices! Wowwwweeeee! The envelopes are free, the shipping is free, it's fabulous! I'm just gonna lay it all out there for ya: We ordered 300 invitations with 300 matching envelopes, 300 response cards with 300 matching pre-addressed envelopes, and 50 rehearsal dinner invitations with... matching envelopes... for (drumroll please...) $165.74. This obviously kept us eons below our budgeted amount, which is now allowing us to splurge on professional floral arrangements for our reception centerpieces. (I know, I know... you're remembering this post where I detailed our homemade centerpiece idea. More on why we've changed our minds later...)

So, they're sent. The (Probably) part of my post title comes from the fact that we were originally told that our reception hall holds 250 people MAX. So, when we were sending out 300 invitations (inviting almost 400 people in all! (oops)), we starting joking about how we would have to call and "un-invite" people if we didn't get enough "no" responses. Don't think we're asking you to decline, though, because after meeting with our banquet coordinator last night, we've learned that there will be plenty of space to accommodate a larger crowd. Phew!

Opening Day

Don't you just love Opening Day? I don't know if I'm partial to the sport and times because my mom went into labor with me at a Cards' game (yet, since they had good seats, they didn't leave), but baseball season brings so many special memories:

Opening weekend games in the very last row and a temperature just barely above freezing

Enjoying College Night Happy Hour before the game

Taking my little cousins to their first professional baseball game (They weren't too happy about it. Quote of the Day by the 5-year-old: "This is not a real baseball game. The players are tiny. They look like mice.")

Although they did enjoy the kiddie area

90 minute rain delays

95-degree weather after the rain delay

Fireworks Fridays

 One of the many reasons I love living in KC is the cheap-as-dirt baseball tickets. Ten dollar, or even $5, tickets are easy to come by, for just about any game except the Cardinals or possibly the Yankees. This makes for easy, spur-of-the-moment date nights, especially when we also score free parking from B's dad (his company has season tickets).

 My favorite party of a baseball game is about the 6th or 7th inning when the sun has sunk below the bleachers, the lights illuminate the field, and the crowd is fully-enraptured in the game. There's something magical--romantic, even--about this time of the game, and it's this feeling that I love about baseball season.

Opening Day is more than just the start of baseball season, though. It means that the winter nastiness is finally over. Barbecues, pool parties, outside-run season, vacations, and more are not far now. This particular season will bring all sorts of excitement; by the World Series, I'll be married, living in a new apartment, with my own classroom (hopefully).

Take me out to the ballgame...

Alone-Together Time

It seems to surprise people when they find out I'm an introvert. I often get a, "Nooooooo..." in response, as a matter of fact. People at work always say, "But you're so happy all the time!" As though they would know better than I do. And as though all introverts walk around in a cloudy, gray bubble of depression. But I think the real discrepancy comes in the fact that these people don't understand what being an introvert or an extrovert really means.

Shy people are often described as "introverted" and outgoing people as "extroverted." This is the definition I myself knew, until a couple of years ago in a graduate class when we took the Meyers-Briggs Personality Test. No matter your feelings on the accuracy of the test, it was helpful for me to understand the different characteristics listed, and examine the actions of myself and others within that perspective.

This professor of mine explained that introverts are energized by being alone and drained of energy by being around other people. Extroverts, on the other hand, is a person who is energized by being around other people. (I verified this information just now on about.com. That's right--find a more credible source. I dare you.)

This new information just clicked with me (actually, since we're on a psychology path here, I assimilated this information easily into my existing schemata). I had always wondered why, after a looooong, stressful week of school and work, I craved a night in with my Instant Netflix, but my roommate was ready to party.

The times that I did join in with the festivities left me feeling even more exhausted and counting down the minutes until 11pm, which I deemed the earliest point at which I could go home.

It also helped explain why, after a weekend trip with the family, I absolutely had to remove myself to my bedroom and spend an evening painting my nails and listening to music instead of watching a movie with my parents. (On this particular night, my dad actually barged into my room at about 10pm because he was "worried" about me--I think he thought my introversion was a suicidal sign. I assured him it was not.)

This isn't to say I don't enjoy myself around other people. I do, and I am outgoing and social--as long as I've already had that time to myself to recharge my batteries.

This revelation wasn't long after B and I had become serious, and I started to worry about what this meant for me in a relationship. How could I ever live with somebody? How could I ever have someone else around 24/7 and avoid snapping at them and being downright rude like I'd been to my parents when I lived in their house?


Although it took some time, those worries have finally abated. As I got to know B better, I realized that he, too, was an introvert. Although he's never taken the Meyers-Briggs test that I took, I've observed (and we've discussed) that he, too, energizes with alone time. What's even more fantastic, is that over the past four years, I've come to the point where time that is spent with B relaxing together at home, whether that's reading, watching Netflix, or playing a video game, can also be re-charging for me. I call it our "alone-together" time. I think that's one of the ways I really knew that B and I could make this commitment to be married. As an introvert, I'd finally found someone that I could energize with--or, at least, that didn't drain my energy source.

"Alone-together" time is still something we have to work at. Since I'm still living at my parents' house, our time in the evenings is limited, and we sometimes find ourselves feeling pressured to "do something" during those times--go out for a drink, watch a movie, have ice cream, etc. We've talked about how in order for two introverts to successfully live with one another, we'll have to practice our "alone-together" time even more--those times when we're both at home, but B is vegging out in front of the TV watching basketball while I'm catching up on my favorite blogs on my computer.


Lastly, I've been pondering this: Do couples work best if their introvert-introvert or extrovert-extrovert? How does an extrovert-introvert couple both maintain their sanity as well as their relationship? What do you think?

Snack Attack!

It's 8:45pm and I just had strawberry yogurt with a few chocolate chips stirred in. (Okay, a few more than a few.)

It's not a terrible snack choice. But after three fun-sized candy bars throughout the day (leftovers from our bridal shower over the weekend), I probably didn't need the extra chocolate.

Somehow, though, I just couldn't resist. It's a habit I've created over the past 23 years. It doesn't matter that I had a very filling, very nutritious dinner at 7:00. It doesn't matter that I'll be getting up to have a protein-packed breakfast in less than nine hours. The before-bed snack is one habit I just can't seem to break.

I do so well throughout the day--an hour long workout, pre-planned meals and snacks, loaded with fruits, veggies, protein, and whole grains. But when B and I settle in for the evening with an episode of Dexter on Netflix, all I can think about is my evening snack. And just the yogurt wouldn't do--the chocolate chips are a must.

Katie, you're not even hungry, I tell myself. That backfires, though, as I spend the next thirty to forty minutes convincing myself that I am, in fact, hungry. However, as my spoon scrapes the empty plastic of another defeated yogurt container, I think to myself, Dang it.

Do you have a vice? A habit you just can't seem to break? Any suggestions for how to calm the urge?

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

You know the story of how we met.

And you know the story of our first date.

And you know the story of our proposal... oh, wait, I actually haven't told you that one yet, but no worries, it's coming.

But I haven't told you the in-between. And a lot happens between a first date and a proposal. Well, a lot happened for us between a first date and a proposal, anyway. If you're like my parents, who were engaged within six weeks, or some friends of ours, who were engaged within three months, maybe that part of your story isn't as long. But for us it was.

I'd like to tell you that everything was smooth-sailing between May 23, 2007 (our first date) and December 23, 2009 (our engagement), but that would be a lie. We didn't have any ground-breaking fights or do any of that back-and-forth "we're together, now we're not" stuff. But we did have our differences. If it weren't for the advice of my older cousin Jenny, who told me that "All guys have quirks," I'm not sure we'd still be together.


After the big Shrek the Third night, B didn't call for three days. On day one, I figured he was living by the old adage of waiting at least 24 hours. On day two, I started to get a little disappointed. By day three, I was convinced I was never going to hear from him again. And, actually, this continued for the rest of the summer. Each time I'd reach the point when I was sure he'd lost interest and moved on, my phone would ring. Why didn't I call him myself? You'll remember I was living by a new philosophy; I was trying to prove to B (and to myself) that I could be a GWTFEG (go-with-the-flow-easy-going) kind of gal. And in my mind, waiting for his call was part of that game.

Quirk #2 was a little problem that B seemed to have with time. It wasn't rare for him to say he'd "stop by after work," (which, to me, meant 5:30 or 6:00pm), then not show up until 8 or 9pm. Looking back, I'm honestly surprised I put up with that. Anyone who knows me is probably pretty surprised themselves. Maybe it was because of my GWTFEG strategy, maybe it was all the build-up of dating Blockbuster Boy, or maybe I was just allowing myself to be a doormat--but either way, I'm glad I stuck it out.


As we neared the fateful day in August, when I'd be moving back to Kirksville for another year of school, and he'd remain in KC, I knew we were going to have to have The Conversation. Somehow, we'd gone the whole summer without ever actually defining our relationship. Oh, believe me, I wanted to. I wanted to baaaaaad. But, GWTFEG girls don't worry about that sort of thing, so I pretended I wasn't worried either.

However, another wise woman I know helped me to realize that this wasn't really fair to myself. "You have a right to know," she said. "You have a right to lay down some ground rules and establish some guidelines. It's only fair, and it's only safe." 


It finally came down to three days before I was moving. Just as we were parting after an evening spent watching Dave Chappelle's stand-up comedy (B's choice, not mine), I decided I needed to brave the topic. It went something like this:


Me: "So, you know I'm leaving for Kirksville in three days."
B: "Yeah, I know. I'm really going to miss you."
Me: "So, what do you wanna do when I leave?"
B: "Well, I'll see you whenever you come home."
Me: "Okay."
B: "I really like you, I just don't want you to miss out on anything at school." (Sounds like a line from He's Just Not That Into You, right?)
Me: "Okay."


B left that night, and I went upstairs to get ready for bed, a little upset, but not really all that surprised. For some reason, this was my luck with guys. I never seemed to have a shortage of guys wanting to hang out, go on dates, etc., but when it came time to actually commit? Not interested.


I was brushing my teeth, wallowing in my despair at losing Blockbuster Boy, when my cell phone rang.


B: "Can I take it back?"
Me: "What?"
B: "Can I take it back?"
Me: "Okay."
B: "I don't know what I was thinking. I really like you."
Me: "I really like you, too."
B: "But if we're going to do this, we have to really do it. We both have to be in it 100%. I just don't want to mess around."
Me: "Me either."
B: "So, we're going to do this?"
Me: "Sounds like it."

At this point, we hung up the phone, and I tore down the stairs, toothbrush still in hand. "We're staying together!!!!" I shrieked as I felt into my parents' room.

After that phone call, it was honestly like a switch was flipped. B resolved both Quirk #1 and Quirk #2 without me even having to ask. It was like dating a whole new guy--Mr. Committed. (Not that he doesn't have quirks now. It's still true that all guys have quirks. It's all about whether or not those quirks are dealbreakers.)